Sugar and spice make pirates nice

On Austin's third birthday, I was shocked to hear him say he wouldn't eat a fairy cake because "they were for girls". Despite our best efforts, by the tender age of three not only was he aware of gender stereotypes; he was already applying them to baked goods.

So, when a nursery friend invited Austin to a 'pirates and fairies' birthday party, I was tempted to dress him as a fairy. In the end, I wasn't brave enough. Instead, we took along his little sister Gwen in pirate gear; after all, one of Austin's favourite books, The Night Pirates by Peter Harris, features a gang of marauding girls.

The party entertainment came from Tea Dance for Little People. Although we never made it to a session at their original location (the Tea Factory in Brockley), Austin had already partied at a few of their gigs, to celebrate Summer, Hallowe'en and Christmas. They're always riotous fun, with a troupe of charismatic performers using song and dance to lead the children on a merry romp in quest of tea, treasure, ghouls, or the Christmas fairy.

The 'pirates and fairies' party had the same lively format, with two actors gamely marshalling the horde of children through a loose narrative. Shamrocks and magic wands were distributed; spells were spelt out through dance; belly flops were scored by judges; and we all joined in a folk dance at the end.

I didn't catch most of the plot. With so many children and no microphones, the din sometimes overwhelmed the actors. But somehow, that didn't matter. The great thing about Tea Dance for Little People is their subversiveness. A bit of child-based anarchy set that off nicely.

And, to my joy, half-way through the show, the actors got ALL the children (even super-butch pirates like Austin) to don a pair of wings and turn into a fairy. So much for allocated gender roles.

The fairies gathered to cast a spell that vanquished the remaining pirate (one of the actors). Sadly for him, his disappearing trick involved lying on the floor behind a cardboard boat. The fairies - not fooled in the slightest - stormed the vessel and jumped on top of him, setting upon him with their wands (poking him in the eye) and swords (knocking off his glasses). It was Lord of the Flies, only with glitter and sequins.

Luckily the head pirate survived the vicious assault, otherwise he would have missed the cake. It was as magically detailed as it looks in the picture. I've tried Sweet Redemption Cakes before; even their cupcakes are dense with cakey tastiness. This one was sponge, with vanilla buttercream icing. Not too sweet, but crystalline enough to leave the suggestion of fairy dust after it had melted in your mouth.

Fitting fodder for a pack of valiant fairies.