.......or, reasons why I need to blog (part 2)
There's an old adage, which goes something like this:
You get pregnant with your first child. Beautiful maternity outfits are bought in a rush, the same week you get that positive test result. You don these clothes the instant you gain a millimeter around the middle (or after that first jumbo 'eating for two' pizza takeaway).
With the second child, maternity garb doesn't have quite the same allure. You hold out for as long as you can, before accepting that your normal clothes make you look like a beer-bellied lout in a skinny girl's t-shirt. So you finally start wearing the outfits from your first pregnancy. Because, of course, you won't be in them for that long. So there's no point in buying anything new....
For any subsequent children, your maternity clothes ARE your normal clothes.
Apologies to whoever wrote the original version of this wisdom. I would have credited you, but you're a victim of your own success. What you wrote is so true that thousands of people decided to share and retweet your words. Your name got lost in the chat-osphere; please don't sue.
You are correct in what you say. But, to every mother (whatever the number of children), there comes a day when you need to move on from maternity clothes.
That day is a tough one.
Here is what you will find*:
- gone are the days of leisurely shopping trips. In their place, you will find yourself grabbing desperately at the mismatching garments flanking the path to H&M's childrenswear department. And then you will buy without even trying them on. There's just no damn time for such luxuries.
- if you do manage to purchase anything half-stylish, you will have forgotten how to wear it. Your brain won't process the fact that you need to put something on underneath a thigh-length, wraparound dress. So, on your first ever night out to a wine bar with yummy mummy friends, you will stand up and flash your (hairy) gusset at the people sitting opposite you.
- after childbirth, you will wait and wait and wait before buying new things to wear. You are not that fat version of your former self. The muffin top above your caesarean scar will disappear in a month or so. What's the point in splashing out on decent clothes, if you're going to be back to your 'normal' weight in a few weeks?
- When your clothes are - quite literally - in rags and tatters, you will admit defeat and buy a couple of items, three sizes bigger than the 'real you'. The 'you' that will emerge in a month or two, when all the baby weight is gone.
- This will go on for the next year and a half. You will then finally ditch the maternity clothes, and realise your entire wardrobe consists of two black vest tops (with deodorant marks under the armpits), a dry-clean only woollen winter skirt you bought for those 'special occasions' (it's summer), and pair of too-tight jeggings purchased in a moment of optimism.
So....what to wear this weekend? What will YOU be wearing?
* if you are anything like me, that is.
For reasons why I need to blog (part 1), click here.
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Picture By Keeonb2012 (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons